**trigger for talk of private body parts and related medical procedures**

i was recently diagnosed with a skin disease called "lichens scherosis," which primarily effects the genitalia. i went in for a vulvar biopsy (actually, two) and it was awful. she gynecologist didn't communicate anything as she was doing it, and didn't give me any aftercare instructions. worst of all - the lidocane used to numb the areas didn't work, and i felt every bit of the procedure. this was two weeks ago, and the recovery has been difficult.

my therapist has provided me with excellent support throughout this ordeal. i saw her in the morning before the biopsy, then called her in hysterics after it was over. never in my life have i been so traumatized. it was all so unexpected, and i was just not prepared. my therapist was then out of the office for business travel for a week, so we had to handle some of this via phone. i think we did a decent job communicating, but i sort of put everything on the back burner until i knew we'd talk in person again. when i went in for a session yesterday, she listened to the details of what went down (literally) at the doctor's appointment, and helped me to see that it shouldn't have happened that way. that it was inappropriate for a doctor not to walk me through everything beforehand, and to not stop when i indicated to her that i was in an excruciating amount of pain. my therapist then urged me to a) not see that doctor again and b) gave me a referral to a gynecologist that she personally recommends. i was supposed to go for a biopsy follow-up just after my therapy appointment yesterday (with the original doctor), but ended up canceling. i was able to schedule a new-patient appointment with the doctor that my therapist recommended.

at any rate, it's really strange to me to all of a sudden be talking about my vagina in therapy! (sorry, i'm not sure how else to say that .) i try to kind of gloss over some of the stuff (or to talk in a bit of code), but it gets to a point where she gets confused (and i have too) and i've found myself having to spell it out in proper anatomical detail. the whole thing is all a little weird to me, and i feel like an even bigger freak in therapy than i already am. i've been seeing the same (awesome) therapist for almost three years now, and we've developed an strong working relationship. i'm concerned though that the dynamics are now changing as we're getting into these *really* personal topics. i've never been the type of client to back away/down from sharing anything, but i'm worried that I'M somehow not keeping proper boundaries by sharing all of this with her.

i was disowned by my family, and have an odd assortment of friends (i'm very much still learning how to be in healthy relationships). i've had to call upon my ex for support throughout all of this, as i feel like there have been times when physically (and certainly emotionally) i haven't been able to cope.

anyway, i just wanted to share with you all - as i generally feel better when connecting with my PC people. thank you for reading..