I saw my therapist today. She is working with me on grounding. I sometimes find myself in between. I am real but not real. I feel as thought I have no substance. That I am no one in particular. That causes confusion, fear and anxiety. I will often have self destructive thoughts in these moments. I have had these thoughts in some form or another for twenty five to thirty years. I hear them but I don't act on them. I usually correct who ever is suggesting such things by saying don't be ridicules we are not doing that. I don't know them but they feel young. Maybe thirteen or fourteen. The suggestions seem to come when no one is in charge. It concerns me that there is a part of me that has negative feelings toward me. I would never hurt any part of me. Even as I write this there is still another part of me who refuses to believe this is possible. Can not grasp how such alters can exist in me. Since they are me. I don't get it either. I know it is true that there is something I just can't accept me as me. I need to realize they are me and embrace the knowledge and all my selves. I am feeling really tired. Thanks for your insights.