Hi Everyone,

I am a lesbian in a 10 year relationship with a woman who is 30 years older than I. I have been depressed for quite sometime now becuase of the logistics of my relationship with my mate and the lack of time we spent together as a whole. I feel like I never get to spend any amount of time with her and that I do not exist and like I have to wait till she is ready to spend that time with me then I need to be ready. When it comes to our sexual life I have to wait again and then I feel unwanted because she never comes onto me like she wants me or any type of advance of wanting to be close. She will just say its been a while I need to be with you. I feel like I have to do it right then or I will not get to do it at all with her. If I make the date stuff happens and I get put off then she says its because of her age. It has been going on for a while and I have repression issues from fights, emotional stuff that we went through from her cheating, keeping me from my mother, something she did to my daughter a while back in the begining of our relationship, and her not being there in my greatest times of need like my sickness that I went through and the mental depression that I am going through now. She does meth as well and I am just about at a lose with what to do and want to know any opinions and if this is normal. I feel like I am worth the wanting and don't want to feel worthless anymore. I need love, connection, and all that that entails and we have nothing right now.. I hope this makes sense. Just at a loss of what to do inside.. Thanks for listening.. Jessica