You've been very clear about saying this logic is "distorted" and "unfair" and I appreciate that. So I don't want to come across as though I am misunderstanding what you wrote or taking issue with how you wrote it.

I do, however, want to provide the perspective of someone on the other side. (Not that there are "sides"; I just mean I want to give the perspective of someone who does wear make-up). I want to do this because it still kind of hurts to hear that people out there actually buy into these kind of stereotypes. It hurts to hear that people still have the perception that a woman is "superficial" if she chooses to wear make-up or if she has an interest in fashion.

In my experience, there are many reasons why women make an effort look presentable which have nothing to do with being superficial. For instance, I'm a professor and I believe that I appear more professional at work when I wear make-up and wear coordinated clothes. I'm also young and I've noticed that I get more respect from both colleagues and students when I'm more dressed up. (Of course, by dressed up I mean "professional"- I'm not talking about anything with cleavage or anything short!) I also feel better when I take the time to put energy into my self-presentation. I am taking time for myself and I am taking care of myself. I view going to the gym, eating healthy, and those things in the same manner; they are all things I do to take care of myself and treat my body well (they're like therapy for the body!). However, the way I view my self worth has nothing to do with my appearance; I do not think that wearing make-up or having nice clothes makes me "better" in any way, nor do I believe that my valuable qualities can be "seen" with the eye. The qualities I value in myself and in others are intelligence, kindness, compassion, wit, sincerity, and honesty. I'm incredibly genuine; putting on lipstick doesn't change that. It also makes no difference to me whether my friends wear make-up; about half of them do and half of them do not. My T does not. I would never suggest that anyone else SHOULD wear make-up; I think it's a personal preference. While I've never had anyone accuse me of being superficial for the way I dress or the way I do my make-up, I have do frequently have strangers, new acquaintances, and new colleagues make the assumption that I must be a "dumb blonde" simply because of the way I look. Exactly the "giggly, silly, talks about boys" stereotype mentioned above. I'm blonde, I'm somewhat voluptuous, I wear make-up, and I have a warm, happy personality- I also have a PhD, I'm a mentor for girls who don't have moms, and do a lot of volunteer work. Of course, people don't always take the time to get to know those things before they rush to judgment. For instance, I've been accused several times of trying to "steal" other women's boyfriends. Of course, I'm also a lesbian and NOT interested. In the most recent incident, I happen to be talking to a male friend of mine (who has a girlfriend) who is in the same mentor program I am. We were discussing a cookie-making party for the children! I just think it's really unfortunate that women often feel so "pitted against one another" because of things like make-up, clothes, appearance, and so forth. I guess it's hard for me to understand because I've never really felt that way. I have insecurities, but I don't really feel them "in comparison with" someone else. I don't really have the experience of feeling jealous or "less than" in relationship my T, either. There are things she has than I don't, and there are things I have that she doesn't. With regards to this conversation, if anything, I could give HER a make-up lesson! She wouldn't want one, though. She doesn't like it and doesn't need it. She wouldn't look like T if she suddenly came out wearing my kind of make-up, hair, and clothes. I like her better the way she is-- and I like myself better the way I am. We like each other for what's on the inside-- even if we do have the occasional conversation about shoes

P.S. Sunrise- I don't know what that make-up lady did to you, but putting on make-up doesn't hurt! You just blot it on gently! No pain involved!