As a failed piano musician, I envy you your concert-worthy music. I too often find myself trapped in little cul-de-sacs of the mind, and almost inevitably I find that all the assumptions I make about people's attitudes toward me are completely false, that my mind has just been playing tricks on me. Just tell yourself again and again that the negative feelings you have about yourself have no foundation whatsoever. And you've provided empirical evidence that supports this.

I hate receiving gifts too because what I want or need are the intangibles that no one can really give me. I couldn't care less about another pair of woolen socks, even though I know the giver to be generous and thoughtful. But it's important to be gracious and that is a gift you can give to others. AniManiac has a good suggestion...try some retail therapy or if the finances are abyssmal, make some gifts. I mass-produced some bird feeders one year and really enjoyed it. Break a leg but for god's sakes, give yourself a break. Your thoughts are simply misguided.