Hi Irishgirl... I'm another Irish girl by the way. I've been in exactly the place you're at, only staying alive for others. Things did improve with lamotrigine (I'm only on 100) and seroquel (350). The seroquel was major for me, a life saver, but I've got to say the weight gain is very depressing in and of itself. I'm sixteen stone at the moment... I'd come down from sixteen ten to fifteen ten, but it was such a major battle, and now I'm heading in the wrong direction again. The worst of it is that everyone in my family comments on it (except my son, God love him.)

There are apparently "weight neutral" anti psychotics out there... this is something you'd have to talk to your doctor about. I'm going to talk to my Doctor about possibly switching to less fat making meds, since I feel so bad about my weight right now that I could see me going cold turkey, which would be difficult. It's very difficult to get off anti psychotics once you're on... seroquel is a sod for that. So in some respects your anxiety about going on it is probably a good thing. There are other meds out there.