Hi all, only new here, but had to find somewhere to look for answers, this looks like the place. My wife and I have been together for about 10 years now and have 2 wonderful kids,(she has 2 from a previous marriage as well). We are happy and live on a large property which I manage and life is pretty good. The only thing missing in our relationship is love/sex. She tells me she still loves me, but if we have sex 3-4 times a year now that would be a big thing. We had a great sex life up until then, couldn't ask for better, then it switched off. she is in her mid 30's so should be in her sexual prime.
When we met, I was a competetive bodybuilder, and went on to be 2 times Mr Australia, and since taking this job have stopped training, but I havn't let myself go by any means. But sometimes I wonder if it has anything to do with it ? She does suffer from depression/anxiety, although we seem to have that under control, I have always supported her with that. She now takes pristique (desvenlafaxine 100mg) and we were wondering if that has any complications with libido, as some other drugs do ?
The other thing that worries me is that she makes no attempt to try and fix it, and after 3 years of coming home to a loveless household is starting to wear a bit thin, actually I think if it wasn't for the kids I would have left long ago. Not just for that reason, but to me it feels like I am just there to bring the money in so she can go shopping. I keep the yard and gardens tidy, I help, or more often do the housework/ washing up/washing, bath the kids etc, even after doing 15 hour days at work, she doesn't attempt to help me out much, and I don't think it has anything to do with other underlying problems, I think it is just laziness.
Sometimes we have friends over from the next property over, and if she gets a bit happy on rum and coke, then she wants to have sex, and cant wait to get into bed, is this caused from the alcohol, or does it block whatever her problem is ? Rum has always made her horny, no other alcohol has this effect ?

Sorry for rambling guys, I just need answers before this marriage breaks down, it has everything going for it, just a few speed bumps. We never argue/fight etc, there just never seems to be any love, not even a hug or kiss when I get home from work, guess I am just at a loss to understand this, thanks in advance,
FF