I am a male, divorce in process, have one kid.
Been had a quite success life, got broke over a business and family torn apart.
Have girl friend have been together for 1 year. we did not have sex, I have not had sex since that 1 year. it's her religious issue and also the practice in here normally to have no pre-marital sex. She is a quite religious person.
so the issue the fact I am still on a marrieage up till now (even though the divorce is on the way), sometime cause problem in the relationship. I can not let her go, and it seems she can not let go also, but I think it mostly because of "what I do" (will explain below).
Now we are going further apart. communication not working out and I have been become VERY dependent on her as now seems that all my old friends have gone, no one to talk to, I am basically alone.

Don't know what to do with this relationship, there are several issues :
1. I have to change religion to marry her (it is the law here), which I don't really mind as I am not a religious person myself. But on the other hand my parents would not approve and I think without their approval everything will not happen, as she will not want to go through such marrieage.
2. My wife know I am with her when we are separating (not divorce yet but have not been living together) so the whole family know, and this is not good for her in the eyes of my family.

I have twice go to a psychiatric practice and they gave me some anti deppresant medicine.

I have tried twice to kill myself but I think it is just to have her (my GF) attention but I really have made the the attempt to harm and kill myself.

As relationship issue really affecting the rest of my life I need to get this settled first.

I think I have an OCD and Histrionic personality and a little of Bipolar disorder have to take more test to prove it but I talk to to a psychiatrist about this and took some online test myself (not sure if can be trusted)

I have a pretty high above average IQ in all my school test back then, I guess no one will expect me to have come to this situation.

I am basically in a deep hole right now. Any words that can help me through this What should I do...