I'm sorry I can't be of more help than letting you know you aren't alone. We are all trying to fight this battle together.

Life is important. Think about when you've beaten this completely, when you can triumphantly say that you are an ex-cutter, not a cutter. When another struggling person asks how long it's been since you SI'ed, you can say a year, not an hour. Your scars may always be there, but don't be ashamed of them. It's proof you can beat it, and help others, too.
trust me.