Thanks guys...
Neverstoppedcrying: It never got to the "after"... It was just the longing and the imagining it, kind of like I was planning it out like I always have... And I was just really freaked out...
And I've never done anything on my legs before. So, I guess that kind of freaked me out for some reason too.

I have to be honest here, I don't have any "skills" here. I think the reason I haven't is because my depression got to a point where it wasn't as bad and now that I've been seeing more and more symptoms of my depression coming back, and my moods have been really unstable again, it's been getting harder.