Shez,

Thank you for the post, I am glad to hear that you have been able to figure some things out in your life. Unfortunately right now I can't find the cause for all these effects. It seems one day I will be comfortable with my friends and I am able to appreciate my time with them and enjoy myself, and then the next day some worries creep into my head and then its the snow ball effect from there on. Typically I remove those friends from my life, go on to be a loner for awhile and then start the cycle over. It makes it very difficult to have close friends and especially girlfriends and it not only hurts the people I turn away from but also myself.

I can see what I am doing but I can't stop myself. Its like my personality does a complete 180, I lose interest and enjoyment and just kind of push my friends away. The worries, the thoughts of being inadequate, of not being enough, scare me away from trying to keep the friendships going. It takes a toll on my moods and emotions and I hate living like this, but it seems its an unstoppable force.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can start to get over this? I have spent the last few years of my life trying to figure out what is wrong with me but none trying to get help. That's the story of my life actually, spend all my time thinking about what I should do and using none to take action.

Thanks,

Fight