It's always easy to play armchair quarterback in these kinds of situations. Bottom line is, you are where you are and I very sorry for you.

IF your husband's depression remits, the question is "can you forgive what he has said and done during this phase?"

There are some things that, once said can never be unsaid. There are some things that once done, can never be undone.

No matter what happens afterwards.

Your husband may be horribly depressed but that is not a reason or an excuse to spew it all over you as he appears to have done.

You can be understanding, supportive, and hopeful for him, but this is his ballgame so to speak. You get to decide how you will respond.

I agree with the others that, right now, you need to seek legal counsel sooner rather than later.

That doesn't mean things aren't going to work out, or whatever, but you need to protect yourself from further insult.