I'm betting that therapy may turn out to be the best gift you've ever given yourself. But you probably don't do much for you, so we'll see.

What I worry about is all this projecting & living in the future you're doing. That's not good. Therapy can help with that. Try not to think about what that next woman will be like. Don't start projecting stuff on her now when she doesn't even exist! If you get too set on the fact or the ways she (not even existing yet) may betray you, it will be all too easy for that package of expectations to settle--even unconsciously--on an actual woman who comes into the picture. Now, would that be fair?

Be good to yourself. & give all those women a break!