....the strange thing is?

....I like to shake...

to throw up in the sink.....

to hold my pillows like they might save my life

to reject all my percieved comittments

to fall apart in the shower....

to take a deep breath and know I am real

to panic is not good.... to feel my heart struggling is not good...

to get twitches and spasms

nightmares and featherbed

there must be something in it?

all my real friends have died......

from this exact same thing...

the people who love me have not the thirst that I have