Hello everyone, Im new on here, Just started meds and seeing a T. So far not helping but I know it takes time.Im just so tired of feeling this way, I have two children and am a single mom and I dont want to get out of bed, dont want to cook, clean, talk to anyone, I push everyone away, cant even get motivated to pay bills, cant afford xmas. And it seems like no one understands, you get told to put your big girl panties on or to suck it up.I know my children are the most important things in my life I know my depression is not fair to them but if it were so easy to just be fine and do the things I know I need to do dont you think I would do that.
I have a bad history of choosing horrible men which contribute alot to my depression. Abusive, cheating, you name it. the last two years seems like every guy I meet feed on my vulnerability act so sweet til they get what they want then runaway. Which leaves me wondering whats wrong with me???? I believe Im a pretty girl, I have a good sense of humor, Im sweet and loyal but I always get walked on, The latest happens to be someone I work with wich has thrown me into a big depression Bad enough my work forced me into counseling or they were going to call someone, they were afraid Id hurt myself which I would never do. Im just so Tired of letting my guard down letting someone in and being hurt. Now I have to keep working with this guy and I do have feelings for him but he Doesnt have any for me, one day he wont talk to me the next he is blowing upp my phone and calling nonstop, just mind games, now I find out he is talking to another girl at work and it kills me. I know this guy has absolutely nothing to offer me or my children but the pain and obssessing over it wont stop. Its on my mind 24-7 and its not someting I can get away from cause I have to work... ugh