abagail44, If I may share a story with you, because I feel like I have almost lived your situation. I am also in my late 30's, 2 kids, happy family life, and working outside the home. I've lived through, oh I hate to admit it here or anywhere, having 2 affairs despite my wonderful husband and home life. Not that you're having an affair, but truthfully, it sounds like you may be heading down that road that I went down, that started just as innocently and confusingly as yours. We women in our mid-late 30's have a lot going on, and it's rarely talked about openly. To put it bluntly, we're at our "peak", and that can manifest in weird ways even when we don't feel like we're at our peak with our hubbies; we're sometimes restless, possibly because we're just so 'settled'; and, yes, it must be said, we are no longer the young hot 20-somethings we once we were ... we are officially on that bridge to getting/being older, and even if we think we are fine with getting older, it does affect us in unexpected ways. For me, it was all of this (plus my own struggles with being Borderline and self-sabotage) that led me astray.

I just WISH someone had said to me, before my feelings crossed over to that inappropriate area: Stop. Look at your life and your husband. Really look at all you have to lose if you pursue this in any way. This other man is NOT as great and perfect as he appears to be. Go talk to a therapist about this and take a break from the other man. If you continue going down this path, you could hurt your husband and kids way more than you can imagine.

I say this not to tell you what to do or come off as arrogant or condescending. But I have been in shoes awfully similar to yours. Please feel free to pm me if you want to chat more about this.