Really sorry to here this. I feel this way a lot of the time (mostly during the winter) and I'm only around 20 years old. That should put things into perspective for you. Who the hell knows where I'll be in 5 years, let alone another 10?

Congrats, seriously! And you have provided love automatically just by being a mother to your children. This is worth more than any material thing in this world we live in. Please, keep on going, keep on trying to find the treatment that will make life a little more bearable for you.