"Wow, some pondering; from hay procurement to fathers to feeling misunderstood and not understanding the relationship between intelligence and personal, emotional or mental problem solving." quote ~ Perna

Yes, I have presented too many questions all at once here. I agree, I have too much going on all at once, yes, that is what it is like outside PC, too much on my plate, nothing getting resolved despite my efforts to do so. I try to focus on one issue, get no where, put it on hold, try to work on something else, get a little forward momentum and something else crashs down in front of me unexpectedly. Even though I was struggling and trying really hard, had many things lined up to get me through the winter. In came a rain storm, then a hurricane, then an unpresidented snow storm that wiped out so much planned business, needed income, top that off with a sick pony that was expensive and heartbreaking. Not to mention depositions scheduled where I was not informed, seeing mistakes my attorney was making, researching other attorneys, getting told to try to get a deposition in by other attorneys, no one helping me out, the firm that represent me disolving, being left in the hands of this one forgetful attorney, finally getting a deposition scheduled, forcing myself to sit and go over very troubling damages and events, last minute cancellation of the deposition another one scheduled trying to keep calm, then another last minute cancellation again. And all along trying to run a business and talk to clients even when I am shaking uncontrollably not understanding why I was shaking uncontrollably. And too much more to mention, nothing good. But I would like to add that it was really nice to receive all the happy birthdays, outside PC the only one that remembered or said anything was my husband. My daughter never called and it broke my heart, I just wanted THAT day to be over.

Considering the overload, I was actually narrowing quite a bit down. I appreciate your input Perna, at least making the effort meant a lot to me. The first step was to evaluate, in so many ways I did do much on my own dispite the odds. I remember my journey well, so I couldn't understand the flashbacks, and being presented with this crippling condition along with a whole lot of damage, well that was something I never could have imagined. Not sure I am smart enough.

Sigh.......sorry
Open Eyes