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Originally Posted by 3rdTimesTheCharm
Besides the advantages you've already mentioned, I could see that marriage T may be able to help you more efficiently with these solo issues because of her ability to "see" the dynamics and what troubles you in your relationship. She may be able to "connect the dots" in ways that someone who hasn't seen you with H could.
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I agree. Therapists who are trained in family systems therapy, for example, are able to see different client groupings from the same family, including individual members of a couple as well as the couple. It can be super helpful. There is another type of family therapy training, though, that doesn't allow for this and those Ts don't have the skills or philosophy for that sort of work. Could you ask your marriage T whether she would be able to see you individually if you wanted to? If she doesn't like to do that, she'll tell you. My T is family systems so he was able to see me individually for therapy as well as me and my husband for couples therapy and also the whole family (with our kids) a few times. It was super helpful.
Geez, because you've already done so much work on CSA, you may find that you just need a few sessions individually to resolve what's coming up, so it may be a brief course of therapy
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Originally Posted by geez
I feel attached to the old T while at the same time I don't ever want to see her/talk to her again. While old T helped me it was extremely painful to say goodbye to her after 3yrs of therapy and I'm not sure I could get anything more from her as a therapist. I think she took me to a great level in my life but I'm not sure what else she could do to help me on the subject of CSA.
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All of this makes me feel again that seeing the new T is the better option. You've ended therapy with the old T and been through that termination pain. Plus you don't think she could help further. Sounds like it points toward having a new T to help you right now, whether it is the family/marriage T you see with your H or even someone else if she won't see you individually.
Good luck. Couples counseling is hard! The past has a way of coming up... Hang in there.
