Wow Sloane,
I am speechless, you hit so many points that have been in my head for a long long time. I am grateful that I am here on this forum and meet you guys here. You are all like a mind reader that can see what's on my head.
Well Sloane I will do that. At least I will try to. I will try to make a few phone call in the next few hours to see if I can get appointment for the help I needed. It looks like all of you are suggesting that I should seek professional helps and meds asap. Thank you all I will do that, and I will keep you posted.
Thanks for all the support, this means a lot to me.