In one of the "Emotional Intelligence" books it talks about mens' propensity for stonewalling. The less in touch with and the less comfortable they are with their emotions, the worse the stonewalling. Could be some of that going on. I just got dumped by a guy who I admit the relationship was deteriorating with - but a couple of weeks ago, he just upped and cut off all contact. Phone, cellphone, e-mail - everything. Stonewalling in the extreme. When I think back on it, he couldn't express an emotion - positive or negative - if his life depended on it. His parents never did anything but fight. I guess he's decided to never ever go there, just vanish in order to avoid it. I will have to thank him for doing me a favour and showing me his true nature before I wasted too much time on him. The guy before that did something almost as bad but was able to freely express his rage when he wanted, which was becoming a daily occurrence. Both started out wonderfully. But both had PTSD, the first from taking a bullet in a war zone, the second from torture. I am happy to get dumped by guys like that. Here's how you create that scenario: tell him YOUR problems for a little while. That will send him packing and you can be rid of him guilt free!

PS: Personality disorders take YEARs to fix and that's IF the person is willing to change (Narcissists typically aren't). An extremely patient, extremely well adjusted individual with an ability to protect her own boundaries and with just the right amount of masochism may be able to help these men, but if that doesn't describe you, leave it up to the professionals. I spent almost 20 years with a narcissist. I was generous, kind, polite, caring, put out for him, then finally he scammed me into supporting him. I realize I didn't help him at all. I enabled his mean, rude, leeching, manipulative, abusive behaviour. He just about buried me. Well....the jury's still out on that one - he's still trying.