1 word: Guilt
not the love of a mother, or hope of happy times to come. Not God or any kinda faith, plain old simple guilt of the damage i'll leave behind. My brother was murdered,my father wished himself dead for 3months after that until he finally got what he wanted. Imagine me adding suicide to that list... Guilt, that's it. Didn't mean to trigger anybody,sorry if I have... Just wanted to share what's on my mind. Please don't chase me to the Dr's i don't want proffessional help. And after the fiasco about pdocs and their pseudo science and guessing games which aired lastnight, i will have NO help, NO sympathy from my family as they all watched it and had a good ole discussion about it.