I'm still here for the same reason. Guilt.
What would happen to my boys? Their daddy is awesome but I grew up without a mum and still now at 20 or so years down the track, it is an indescribable hole that i live with. It wasn't suicide, but cancer that took her from me.

I also have a dimwit for an older sister who frequently puts her foot in her mouth purposely. Wish I could give yours a slap for you.