One of the keys to weathering a truly rough time is trying your best to roll with it. I think you'll find problem solving to be one the most satisfying things to do. It is stressful, especially when it is about life stuff (and procuring hay IS a big thing - it's been really tough lately for everyone).

Try to focus on what you are going to do now, rather than why what just happened, happened the way it did.

I really to hate to sound blunt, from my experience, those outside those of us few who understand, in the "real" world very very few people are going to care, or make any allowance whatsoever for your condition. As you said "they just want their money". You maybe coming to terms with it and understanding it - and that IS the most important thing - but, in reality, you can't expect other people to as well.

People decide what they are going to do with information, and sadly, with mental illnesses, it usually not a positive thing for them.

Also, try to remember you don't have to solve every problem all at once, just the one in front of you. SOmetimes my only goal is to not make things worse!

You'll make it. You're a smart chic, in the big picture this will pull you through.