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Old Apr 27, 2006, 07:29 PM
Anonymous29319
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So happy that you are having some good experiences in therapy right now. no this isn't the integration process but it sounds like your therapist is starting to teach you the "tools" you will need when it is time for you to integrate (remember the bad memories at the same time as being in the present here and now. Building your internal safe place while aware of the present gives you the idea of what it feels like to be safe, and relax enough to just let the memorys come.
This way too when the hard memory recall work starts you can use the idea of your safe place as a grounding tool by thinking about the relaxing things that your safe place includes.

For example when SKR and I would be talking about the harder memories besides keeping my focus on SKR and telling her about the memory that I was experiencing I also had the part of my mental safe place going of listening to the song "keeping power" which kept me grounded and feeling a bit of safety through out the session.

The integration process feels like a mixture of experiencing a flash back complete with all the pain, emotions, sounds, sight, tastes, smells, and how I was touched when that memory actually happened.

Its basically reliving the experience and the experience feels real like it was actually happening right now for the first time but this time without dissociating away from it.

Doing this is overwhelming, painful and that feeling of the memory feeling of realness of happening right now lasts for days. You will definately know when it happens.

Your therapist talking about feeling human I think is his way of getting you to feel like you are "inside your body" not that floaty far away numb feeling.

The way SKR started me on finding out how it feels was taking baths. I love sitting in warn water. So much so that its nothing for my friends to come over or call and catch me sitting in a warn bath with my bathing suit on. So this is what SKR started with.

I had homework assignments of taking bathis in all different kinds of bath oils and bubbles and really feeling what the bubbles or oils feel like on my feet and hands then as time went on, the rest of me was included.

Cooking is another great way to connect with the body and senses. In the recipe area is my recipe for Pistachio torte. Its a completely hands on recipe that I could explore various textures and smells and so on and how it mand me feel to make it. I made it with every pudding combo out there my favorite was swirling chocolate and butterscotch puddings together.

Takeing walks is also a great connect with the body and senses experience just by noticing att the different colors, textures, smells and so on.

On http://www.nancyjnapier.com you will find many activities for getting in touch with your senses and body.

I have loads of fun devising my own activities with various crafts for connecting with the senses and body.

Take everything you like and mix and match as many textured, smells and so on.

This is one therapy assignment I loved doing so much so that I still do them.