Gulas and Roadrunner both great points so I have abandoned that her change. . After reading here and other resources I learned I cannot really do or say anything that will make her change. I am afraid my attempts might even force her to hide it even more. I have another idea. How about if I send an email as a Christmas card that would say ...

To you and all your family a very christmas my friend
May all your days be happy with a joy that never ends
May peace and love surround you
At Christmas time and all the whole year through

My gift to you is that I will never judge or or abandon you and I will always support and love you.

Your gift to me is to let me support you and share our friendship during these dark dog days of winter so you are not alone or isolated.

Love always
Xtree