Do I have to accept a life of meds that make me crazy and a life of dissability?

Um, no. You certainly should not take meds that make you even worse off... if anything, the **** should help (even if there is trade offs.... but your mind should not be one of them).

And I believe most people can find themselves a place in life. In Icarus Projec publication authors questioned the the whole normalness based on how we view impact of the mental illness - by ability or inability to do your job... they ask "what if you never wanted to do this?". Does not mean you should not work at all... but there are many many ways to get by.

Of course, many questions any lifestyle that can be viewed as alternative. But it is not their life. They may be happy in their 9-5 jobs and mundane lifes... if you are not, you should seek another path for yourself.

I don't call it "illness". I call it "intense". It can be lived with. I don't know what you need... but I am pretty sure you can figure it out, if you sit with yourself for a while... life is hard, but in the end it is worth it.