Hi kasva,

I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. Have you done any work with your T on managing your fear? Breathing, grounding stuff?

I also wondered whether you could break down having a shower into smaller chunks - like first only put one hand under the shower until that feels more bearable, then the next day further up your arm etc.

When I get really triggered by stuff, T reminds me that I am safe and that those things are not happening to me now - they are "only" thoughts and feelings and they can't hurt us.

And you are not a loser, I know it can be so tough and scarey looking at stuff with T - hugs to you - Soup