I'm now back on pretty much the same meds I was on 2+ yrs ago when I left hospital & started seeing pdoc. This depression slide started in Feb, became a dive early summer--we've tried & abandoned 3 meds. Side effects.

Coming into the holidays in this state was NOT supposed to happen. I jumped on this thing fast, knowing it could take time. THIS is what I feared coming to. I meet him Tues & I'm torn btw presenting myself to him fully hopeless or in the anger I feel both for the disease & the treatment.

I'm the lab rat in the cage, & the best he can do is stand there & throw meds at me & see what they do? Rat wants to BITE stupid pdoc for not knowing enough.