Ever since I have started college I have felt depressed. Notably as the semester goes on. Every semester I start out fine, doing my homework and everything, until midterms. Then I shut down, and become really depressed and despondent, unable to do my work.

It's made me hate college, more than that, loathe it and has made me feel like it is sucking the life out of me. It's made me hate myself to the point where I have severe suicidal ideations every semester like clockwork. I isolate myself, and this past semester i wouldnt brush my teeth or shower for a full week at times.

It doesn't feel like major depression, which seems to come and go as it pleases, Major Depression seems more...biologically based.

What the **** is this that happens to me? It's really quite severe. Just give me your opinion. I know i need counseling, i just feel like I am drowning in something I cannot beat. I've been in counseling before, it doesn't seem to help. I'm just drowning in something that is tearing me to pieces.

Opinions would be welcome.