TRIG FOR SX ITEM

Ok so I have session today. First of all, I really don't want to see my T any more because I did my normal shut down thing emotionally after he didn't reply to my very open last email about the wonderful session we had. I know I should have asked him again about the reply, but I just didn't want to do it - self protection mode.

So I have been doing hypnosis on myself to try to not have anger at work and also to not feel anything about my T emotionally. I really have a problem with feeling close to others and fight that.

So last night I had a dream that I was talking to T and he was just not able to make me feel better. Then I was trying to leave and he tried to do something with sx stuff that totally FREAKED ME OUT!!! in my dream!! UGGGG! It was horrid to dream that!!!!

Now I have to go see my T today and
1) I don't want to tell him that I am trying to hypnotise myself into being emotionally distant from him.
2) I DON'T want to tell him about that horrid dream!!!!!
But I think the dream means that I am somehow afraid of being satisfied by what I do get from therapy.