hey, wepow. i am going to see my T today too. am also not looking forward to it.

regarding your post, you also have the option of telling the T about your interpretation of the dream rather than what happened in it. i have never been hypnotized by myself or anyone else. but, it seems risky to hypnotize yourself, especially if you have not been trained in it and if you are trying to alter your reactions to things. of course, if you do not want to tell the T of your efforts to self hypnotize then the other option is to cease trying to do it and rely on a trained professional instead. frankly, it's much safer.

when it comes to finding satisfaction in therapy, i find it to be a mixed bag. do you get something out of it? yes, probably. do you get exactly what you want out of it? probably not since it is our false expectations that are causing some of the problems in the first place. we have to settle for what we get out of therapy (which, of course, is based on what we put into it). so, my suggestion is: put what is on your mind into therapy because that will probably lead you to the best results. if you are not upfront with your T, then they will not be able to properly advise you and will not fully understand what it going on. all the best to you!