Thank you for your additional comments Justme & Irreplaceable!

Yes, I too have noticed myself wanting to distance myself from one of his friends, feeling shy about what they've been discussing & feeling also a need not to have to justify myself to a friend of his you know? But I don't want to live that way and don't want to feel that I need to justify myself so I'm going to forget it & let it slide. I've taken on board the fact that people will only ever get one side of the story unless they really know me and live with me, and knowing this makes me stronger & feel better about myself (because I know I have the good parts as well as the bad). And I had forgotten myself to believe in my positive contributions too... perhaps one of the reasons that led him to do so also.

I have since let my hubby know how I feel about discussing private details about me or our relationship outside and feel positive that we'll be able to deal with our own issues together, in time.

So.. thanks again all for letting me question & for discussing this issue with me. I felt that I was doing the exact same thing -- going to others about issues in our relationship but as Perna said: it says more about me than about him... Ie, the fact that I needed to post & gain feedback shows me some things about myself (& my insecurities) too! It's been really helpful having this discussion with you all. Thank you for sharing.