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Romaannnnnnnn...***Hugs*** Get.Out.Of.My.Head. You are saying exactly how I have been feeling!
I've been wanting to start a thread about this but didn't know where to begin. My situation is similar to yours...I'm working one job, 9-5 and about to start online classes...My SO's hours have significantly dropped at work due to the economy...He is now working maybe 5 hours a week I think? On top of that, we have a 6 year old daughter...Own home, own vehicles, bills bills bills...And it's not to brag because all of this takes money to keep going...This has been going on since the beginning of the year...And I honestly feel like this is the worst I've felt...As far as dealing with depression and anxiety...Like you said, some days are OK...I go to work, put my time in and go home and do mommy and girlfriend duties....But it gets hard....And I wish I didn't have this condition because I feel like it makes things 1000 times harder....Some days I feel in the dumps...Others I'm fine...But even on those days where I'm fine, sometimes I'm mentally trying to keep myself in check so I don't go off... And we have been going at it more lately mostly because of the stress I feel lately with having to carry everything and make sure things don't get disconnected/turned off....The constant stress can be over whelming...And like your SO, alot of times my SO, will say I'm not doing enough...Are you kidding me? I know he doesn't mean harm...I tried sitting him down last week to explain why I've been going to the doctor (psychiatrist) more lately...It helped a little, but I know somewhere in the back of his mind, he is like, "ok. you're exaggerating". Things almost came to a head @ work...I was seriously thinking about taking some time off of work to get myself mentally together, just enough to be able to focus and function without breaking down crying at my desk...Some days I feel like I'm going to burn and crash...And guilty, thoughts sometimes run through my head while driving and thinking about what all that needs to be done...Like, not caring if someone runs their car into my car...Other things that I don't want to put online...But those are during the times where I just feel overwhelmed and like this will never stop or slow down...
I know it's hard but you will get through it...It may be hard to do, but try to not take on too much at one time...You're not alone...Stick in there...
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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