I know it's hard and it will most likely be the hardest thing you will do but you have to keep fighting for yourself.
You don't have to put up a front to others. Let them know that things are not okay. It's the only way they will know things aren't okay. They are not mind reader.
It's okay for you not to be the strong one. You are aloud to break down and you are aloud to cry.
You have every right to live a life without this disease. You have every right to be angry, upset, sad, happy, or whatever emotion you have at the time.
Be true to yourself and your emotions and things will get better with time.
I'm here if you need anything <3 <3