Thanks RR and notz.

I realized in the dark of night, I just needed to spit it out. In the light of day, I've actually rewritten it, shortened it a bit, and made my sentences more coherent.

After reading many posts by others and thinking of my previous T's, I'm starting to think I have an unusual T. What I am sensing (but I know my "sensor" is faulty...maybe just wishful thinking) is that I mean a lot to T and she has to work hard at being professional. In October, I made her a breast cancer awareness bracelet and she seemed completely disarmed. The next session, she told me she loved me. When she was out having chemo in early November, I was emailing multiple times a day (truly in crisis) and she was responding to them all, trying to help me. A line she wrote in one of the emails was "Don't you realize people care about you even when they are dealing with their own stuff?" In typical Chopin fashion, I pushed it too far and she finally had to cut me off. She was really sweet in my last session, but the session before that, she was almost irritable with me and trying to push me to open up. Every so often, she'd just sit there with her head in her hand and grin wistfully at me. I finally looked at her and said, "What? What do you want from me?" Exasperated, she looked at me and said, "I want you to start. I want you to open up!"

Just the fact that I seem to "get to her" positively and negatively would suggest deep feelings, either real or transference. So I'm just going to ask for the truth!

What do y'all think?