I can't overstate how much these kinds of doubts have tortured me over the years. I finally came to the conclusion that even if only the memories I can positively verify (because someone else remembers it too or I'm absolutely certain for some other reason) are true, and the rest either aren't or are terribly distorted, I have reason to be struggling and can cut myself some slack.

In a weird way this current mess at Penn State has helped me because I see how those men behaved and covered each other and how even now some fans are mad at the victims for talking, and I think, yes, I recognize that pattern alright. It's a backwards sort of confirmation.

It takes so much courage to see the world as it really is. If you haven't been directly harmed so that you HAVE to look, it's easier to just deny or avoid. People don't want to think about it so they don't, and when it looks like they might have to, they clearly make it known you should shut up because you are probably crazy. That's for THEM, not you.

You probably aren't crazy.

Some memories might be distorted. So what? Doesn't mean you have no reason to be feeling the way you are feeling.

Hang in there.