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My significant other started being nasty last time he came over to spend the weekend with me. He was criticizing me for something that was none of his business. I called him today and told him I won't want him coming over if that continues, Christmas or no Christmas.
One of my neighbors told me that another one of my neighbors is talking mean about me.
Then I have a relative that I got all stressed out about, which I posted elsewhere about.
I am to the point now where I do not feel lonely when I am in my apartment alone. That is progress for me. I am doing well at home now. I cleaned my place thoroughly and decorated nice for Christmas. I am so happy just with how nice I have fixed up everything. The only thing I want from the neighbors and the relatives and the significant other is that they just leave me alone, if they don't like me or how I live. My plan is to enforce that. I will just disengage with any of them who start getting inappropriate. It seems llike anyone with any common sense would know enough to do that and not make any announcements about it. Well, I have a severe lack of common sense sometimes. Even my father once told me, "For someone who reads as many books as you do, you're the dumbest person I know." He was being mean and I should not even recall that remark to my mind.
It is true that I lack some skills in preventing myself from getting into interactions with people that are not healthy for me. So I really do have to think it out carefully and make an actual plan of what I am going to do. I have to rehearse in my mind how to best respond to inappropriate overtures, so that I don't end up like a deer in the headlights.
I don't know why I am a magnet for these kinds of behaviors, but I am starting to figure it out. Once, when I was dating a guy, years ago, he actually told me that he noticed me at a nightspot because I looked like I would be the easiest person in the place to exploit. Actually, I'm not - as he did find out. (We sort of became friends.) But I do come across, apparently, as someone who will just tolerate anything. When I was a child, I was approached, inappropriately, by one of the local clergy. I was able to extricate myself from the situation and suffered no harm. I pretty much always do manage to extricate myself. The thing is - I would rather these things didn't even get started. I would rather be more able to "nip things in the bud" earlier. Too much of my time is being wasted. Too often, too many people have screwy ideas about what they can get away with in regards to how they treat me. (I'm talking some real screwy ideas. Also, lots of non-extreme ideas that are also wrong.)
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