Thank you Broken, mward, and Cheza.

The 'they' is perfectionism of my family, the people, I work with, my boss. There is so much pressure all the time. Thin is in, fat is out. I hear it. Skinny is smart, fat is dumb. I can never be skinny enough. I made some comment today about holiday snacking, and the lady responded where the heck are you hiding it, 'cause I sure don't see it. BUT I DO!!!! How can she say that? I see fat all the time.

I know people look me up and down all the time...I can't help but know what they're thinking.

I can't let them see me hurting. I don't want to be viewed as weak. I just can't!