I can relate, and I know that many others on this forum can also relate to what you feel. A former T told me that we have a real relationship, but it's different from any other relationship. She said that doesn't make it LESS, just different. I think the T-relationship is MORE, not less than most relationships.

Are you sure that your T encourages you to fantasize about your relationship? Mine accepts it when I do, but then she tries to bring me back to the present. She wants us to be curious about why I want to fantasize about her and what needs I'm fulfilling, and how I can meet those needs myself or how others can meet them. I have BPD so I understand about emotional dysregulation. I know I can't be with my T the way I would like, but she accepts the part of me who wants that. Talking about it helps.

I have always told my Ts that they shatter my dreams because they can't give me what I want from them. But, with my current T, it is starting NOT to feel like she's rejecting me. I'm not sure how I got to that point, though it's taken almost 2 years to get there.

Does your T know how you feel? I would encourage you to tell her or him what you posted.