Thank you for the responses guys/gals

Severijn, I have considered SA I have even talked to my Doctor about having it. They suggested I talk to a therapist at my school. I never ended up doing it because I too nervous to and I couldn't convince myself that it would be worth it.

I am afraid to tell someone because I am afraid of what they will think, I am afraid of what the consequences will be, I have spent most of my life trying to cover up my fears. I told myself everyone feels this way, I tried to hide my anxiety and worries.

When I read this it seems so silly but when I am faced with going to a Therapist I freeze and my mind screams at me and it seems like only the worst thing possible will happen.

It is until only recently where I have actually been able to realize what I have been doing to myself all these years, now I can spot some of the thoughts that are blowing things out of proportion and those that are based on no truths. It has helped me lighten up a little bit but no where near where I want to be.

Thanks,

Alec