I'm quite certain BDD is more than a possibility, but I don't know what to do with it if/when it comes to light that I do have it.

I have been losing weight, which is medically necessary. I am under doctor's guidance. But the image in the mirror has not changed, basically since I was 8 years old and starting to enter puberty, when I first started to see myself as roly-poly fat (whether I was or not.)

It always surprises me when I:
1. Rest my chin in my hands and don't feel a lot of goosh.
2. Lie on my side in bed, place an arm on my hip, and feel bone rather than soft flab.
3. Touch the back of my leg and feel solid muscle.

The difference between what I see and what I feel is substantial, and confusing.

I am (constantly) reminded that I still have weight to lose. Last time I was at the doctor's office, having my heart checked out, I heard the nurse say those dreaded words when assessing my risk factors: "You're overweight." I don't know if she's aware of the weight I've already lost, but she didn't give me any credit for it. And I'm afraid that, with my natural body type, I can weigh exactly what I should, and I'll still hear those words.