Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
How has it come back? Is it different or the same? Something new?
Did your old pschologist treat you effectively?
If you have the opportunity to see someone who specializes in PTSD, and your struggling, you may want to see if you can gain from the specialist.
Let us know how you make out.
Open Eyes
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I think my old psychologist treated me effectively at the time for all my issues and CSA was just one of them that related to my past.
Currently my husband and I are in marriage T. On the subject of sex I thought the main reason for not wanting to be intimate on my part relates to not feeling emotionally attached. Since that has been fixed for the most part (I like/love my husband again
) we were intimate. (My marriage T said if there was any trauma in my past that hasn't been dealt she wouldn't recommend setting up an intimacy schedule ). I told her I was done with processing CSA with my old T and she said she believed me.)
Then my husband and I were intimate and afterwords allot of anger and hurt came up for me as if I never had these feelings before. It was like I was really feeling these feelings up close and personal. Almost like going deeper into a well. You can't see the bottom and it feels like it couldn't be any deeper and then surprise! I can see for the first time how this all ties together. It then leads to me with many feelings of guilt, disgust, anger, shame, sadness and having the reaction of wanting to hide like I wanted to when I was 5. Hide my body with baggy clothes and stuff the feelings down with a box of cookies. I get very quiet around my friends and husband. It is taking up space in my mind until I figure it out. I want to be Done!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I would make an appointment with the old T, since you are familiar with them, and discuss it with them?
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I talked to old T via phone and the door is still open if I decide to go back to her. I feel relieved and scared at the same time. My heart got ripped out having to say goodbye and I don't want to have to go through that excruciating pain again. - BUT I do love her and everything she did for me. I told marriage T I don't want to go back to old T but I didn't say why.
The marriage T has an office across the hall from old T. I asked marriage T if she would see me as an individual and she said she can't fill dual rolls. She also said she doesn't think my old T is a PTSD specialist (I should ask and I will - and does it matter?). She is going to look into finding a T that specializes in PTSD for me. I guess that's where the confusion for me sets in. Do I try someone new who specializes in PTSD or go back to old T? I feel like if I go back to old T my heart will get ripped out again and I don't know if she can help me (she specializes in CSA) because I spent three years with her and these feelings have come back about CSA. I thought I was done after three years of therapy with her and yet this has come back?
Help!