I guess the best thing to do is start right at the beginning:

I met my boyfriend over two years ago when our bands played a show together. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw him. I knew right away I wanted to meet him, know him, be with him. It was funny because as soon as we were introduced it was like being transported back to 2nd grade. He made fun of me, picked on me, said things like "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." He pretty much turned that love at first sight into loathing.

A couple days after that show my friend texted me saying "Guess who wants your number." Right away, I knew it was him. I got his number from her and texted him. Since that day we talked non-stop. He became my best friend in just a few weeks. I talked to him when I woke up, all day, before I fell asleep. We talked about everything, there was never a dull moment in our conversations.

After a month or so I decided to go visit him. (He lived 5 hours away then) I went up for a week and we had an amazing time. I thought this was the start of something incredible. Well, around my birthday he texted me and told me there was another girl who lived where he did and he wanted to see where it would go with her. He told me he still wanted to be friends and that he was sorry and everything I've heard before. It literally crushed me. But I told him I want him in my life, any way I could have him. And I meant it. So we stayed friends. A few weeks after that I came up to visit him again and this time it was awkward, it was weird, I hated it. We didn't talk like we did, we didn't play around. I left two days later.

Months passed and we still texted and as time went by he started talking to me like he used to. Then in Jan. his band played another show where I lived and he stayed with me. He slept in my bed. He told me he made a mistake and I was the one he wanted and that he was sorry. So I gave him another chance.

In Feb. he started getting distance and the first thought that popped in my head was that he was going to leave me again. So I did something distract, I stopped talking to him and I moved from FL to OH. It was the worst mistake of my life. I get into a relationship there with an abusive, angry guy. He broke my phone and wouldn't let me talk to anyone I knew. I was stuck there for almost a year. I got a job at a hotel and made a fake screen name. The first person I got in touch with was my boyfriend now. I told him everything and how sorry I was and he said that all didn't matter, he wanted me to come back. He said he would come get me and we could really be together.

So that happened. He drove 11 hours to come get me and brought me back to GA with him. I had never felt so in love or loved and so happy in my life.

Everything was going great until about June. He started getting distant again and I started to panic. So I did something I've never done before, I looked in his phone. He had been texting this girl he knew saying things like "You're sexy." "I want you." and I felt my heart drop. He's never said anything like that to me. So I freaked out and I called him out on it. He told me he could talk to anyone however he wanted and that he wasn't so sure about us anymore. I felt like I was going to die. I told him I would leave, I'd go back to FL and he'd never have to talk to me again. He said he didn't want that, he was just confused. I told him, you got me from OH, you knew how this was going to be when you drove up there to do that.

After while things got better. He didn't text her anymore and didn't say things like that to anyone. We moved to a new place and we were really happy. But my self-esteem was ruined. I was insecure. I was jealous. I over thought everything and I always seemed to believe something was going on. And so I checked his phone regularly behind his back. Sometimes there was nothing and other times there was. He was talking to this one girl and joking around about putting her in a rap video for him and she asked him if he had a gf he said "I do " That really upset me.

And then our sex life started to crash. Now the first time we even had sex wasn't until I came back from Ohio, before we moved to a new place. And it was great. I felt even closer to him and never been more comfortable with someone. Then after we moved, it just died. He was never in the mood, even when I tried to like throw myself at him. I constantly found him looking at porn or he always was masturbating in the shower. I thought he wasn't attracted to me anymore. He said that he just wasn't very sexual. He said he felt bad if he didn't satisfy me. But before we moved, we had sex regularly and it seemed like he was never worried about it. I asked him what changed and he just said he didn't know.

I felt like I was just suppose to sit around and wait for him to say jump. I hated it. It upset me and made me angry. I didn't want to act like sex was that big of a deal to me but I feel like being intimate in a relationship is a part of any healthy relationship.

It had been a month before two nights ago the last time we had sex. Two nights ago we did though and it was amazing. I felt like finally things would get back on track. But then after when he was in the bathroom, I looked in his phone. I saw he had been texting this girl - who likes him - and he had called her honey and the way they were texting was flirtatious. After he got out, I asked him if I could see his phone. He said "Well I'll tell you I was texting this girl but she's a friend and nothing was said." But he wouldn't let me see it so I knew he was going to try and hide it. I asked to see he and he said no I didn't need to, that was crossing a line. Well I kept asking and finally he read the texts to me, but he only read a part of them. I asked him why was he lying to me and he was like "How am I lying?" And I told him I saw what was said. He flipped out. He told me it was over and that he couldn't do this anymore. I begged him to stop and let's just work this out. I told him in my head that's all I could do to make us hit rock bottom so we could talk this all out and fix everything.

It's been two days. He doesn't want to be around me. He hardly talks to me. He sleeps on the edge of the bed as far from me as possible. I don't know what to do. I've been in a relationship like this. I've never been in love like this. I've always broken up with someone if they did something to upset me, but I've forgiven him and gave him chances. I know I shouldn't have looked through his phone. I am wrong for that but he can't keep talking to people the way he does. It's disrespectful and hurtful. He doesn't even do it all the time, just like when we aren't doing so good. Does he want attention? I am doing something wrong?

What can I do to make him understand? What can I do to fix things between us? Or is it over? Should I just give up and move on?

I have so many questions. My family isn't here, I don't have any friends here. I have no one to talk to. I need help. Please. Anyone.