No, you're not a bad person. I think it's actually quite a creative way to get some healing from that time in your past. We don't have the tools we need as children as we do as adults. You were coming from a genuine place as a genuine person, just time delayed.

It's so important to feel validated, you just came up with a creative way to do it.

I hope things get easier for you. PC is a good place to get support while your T is gone.

Take care.