Hi Malyce. Wow, I am in awe after reading your story. What a lot you have been through and yet the constant thread throughout most of it is love and optimism and forgiveness. You sound like a really special person with a very beautiful soul. But one who has been hurt time and time again.

Lets start with your feelings of feeling worthless. I guess after all that has happened to you, you definitely have a right to feel that way. But nobody is worthless. Everybody is a person of worth simply by the fact that they are alive. I know that sounds incredibly simple and trite but think about it for a moment. It's true - we all contribute something simply by being here. I woke up feeling depressed this morning and by trying to help you, I am feeling a little better. So see, unknowingly you have helped another human being.

I admire your perseverance with your business troubles. And the fact that you were ultimately victorious in clearing your name. Keep that fact in mind the next time you are feeling helpless. The fact that people betrayed you and let you down? Don't let it make you bitter. I know it is very, very difficult but try to look at it as a life lesson in being a little wiser about trusting people in the future. It sounds like you have an open and loving heart. You remind me so much of my 30 yo son. He is a small business owner, and like you, wants to love and trust people. But he's been burned several times, and as a result, has had to become a little more cautious about trusting people and opening his heart to strangers until he gets to know them a little better.

As for the situation with your boyfriend, I think you're wise to try to move out and get your own place. Who wants to stay in a relationship that hurts your heart, your emotions and your self confidence? Better to be by yourself, nurture yourself, practice your special talents, get back to your art (I bet it's awesome!!!!) then to be in a relationship that is harmful to your soul?

Malyce, do whatever you need to do to be good to yourself, no matter how hard it is. Don't isolate. Get up and get out. Be around people even if it is only at a bookstore or a coffee shop. Buy a good bar of chocolate if that is your weakness and enjoy a couple of squares every day. Come join us in the chat rooms - the people there are incredibly kind and helpful. And whatever you do, if you feel desperate, don't suffer in silence. Call someone, even if its only a helpline. There is a number listed on the top of the chat room lobby page if you feel suicidal.
Hope this helped. I enjoyed reading your post, and yes, I read every word. I check these posts daily so feel free to write back if you want. Lots of luck and many hugs to you