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I'm in a phase. That's all it is I know that. But it's such a nasty vicious cycle and it's wearing me out. I'm so drained from this.
Due to medical issues, I have developed yet another anxiety cycle. Starts with the fear of the medical problem happening again. As I learn that it wont happen again my mind comes up with new ideas on what may happen because of the last physical issue. That turns into just full blown anxiety and before I knew it I was having multiple attacks a day. The last phase I was having close to 30 minor attacks a day! Now it's about 4 or 5 but they aren't as minor as they were before, they are much more difficult.
My s/o says that I need to just stop thinking about it. Forget everything that worries me, just ignore it. He doesn't understand. These thoughts come from no where and while I am convincing myself that they are not real, my body is convincing me they are.
I know I'm irrational during these times, I know it's anxiety, I know I will live and be ok... But I can't stop them still! What do you do when you know all the facts, you know how you're supposed to stop them but it doesn't work?
I wont take beta blockers for this. I'm sorry but anxiety already with my health and my heart and then being put on heart meds that do the opposite of what I need? I think not!
Valium was my only relief. But it's so hard to come by when you don't have a steady understanding doc or a t or pdoc. GPs really don't like giving Valium out, but it's the only thing I feel safe taking, it's the only thing that seems to work. It saved my life I believe. (Long story)
I've done all the techniques I can mentally. I've learned everything you should learn to beat this but I can't do it. I can't stop it.
Sound familiar to anyone?
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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