I find in my life that it is often easier to focus on someone else, some perceived "perfect" person or situation (what I "should" have done or said) instead of just keeping my mind on my own life and what I am doing right now. I am often so focused on my anxieties that I do not leave enough energy and attention for my actual problems (anxieties are always about the "future" or the perceived past (not the "actual" past but how we imagined it to have been).

You know how eating healthy and losing weight is hard work, and takes time and effort as does your artistic work? Concentrating on ourselves and only ourselves and solving our literal problems takes that kind of focus and determination and hard work too!

What happened or may have happened in the past or what you think happened and how it was is in the past and is a fantasy! You now have the task of providing for yourself and your new child; you cannot make your boyfriend be any sort of person, good or bad father, mate, whatever, that is his job totally. Dancing, singing, and socializing are not that high on the totem pole, you need to figure out how to make a living and support yourself and child or work with you boyfriend toward marriage and other legal support for you and your child, etc. If he is not, himself, working to be a husband to you and father toward his son, then you need to figure out another plan for your life; dancing, singing, and socializing is what the grasshopper did while the ants worked to prepare for winter! Work toward becoming an ant, not a grasshopper.

http://www.dltk-teach.com/fables/grasshopper/mstory.htm