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Lazy, first and foremost, YOU NEED TO BE A WRITER....Really...Your word play and the way that you describe things...The way that you described the women, etc etc...You're a very good writer....Very descriptive...I know that came from out of no where, but you have a talent girl!
Now on to your post...In a certain sense, I can relate to what you are saying...I'm confident in how I look, but I don't like seeing women in public or anywhere for that matter that I know slept with my SO...We've been out a few times before and he has done the same as your SO...Pointing out a girl that he slept with...And I will admit, it stings like hell sometimes...Even though I reassure myself by saying, "You are being ridiculous. She was BEFORE you...He didn't even know you then...It's not like he was cheating on you"...And then I immediately go into evaluation mode...Evaluate everything about her...And again, although I am an upgrade for him (heehee) it still stings a bit...I have confidence now, but it had to take me a long time to get to where I am...
You were comparing yourself to other women...While you were pregnant...Again, I was the same way...Here I am, accustomed to being teeny tiny, and now I blew up...And sometimes comparing myself to other women...At times...I think that's natural...And I also think you need to stop being hard on yourself...The girl you are referring to, she is the past...You have him, she doesn't...Stop comparing yourself to her and others....You can only be you...
Work on your self esteem...Get yourself to where you want to be physically...Don't you know that those women that you are comparing yourself to, they are probably picking at their flaws, just as yourself.....
I used to get in the habit of comparing myself to other women...But I had to make myself stop...I am not them, and they aren't me...Again, confidence is something I had to work on...Instead of looking at what I don't have compared to other women, I look at what I DO have...
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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