Quote:
Originally Posted by jessicafaye
But then after when he was in the bathroom, I looked in his phone. I saw he had been texting this girl - who likes him - and he had called her honey and the way they were texting was flirtatious. After he got out, I asked him if I could see his phone. He said "Well I'll tell you I was texting this girl but she's a friend and nothing was said." But he wouldn't let me see it so I knew he was going to try and hide it. I asked to see he and he said no I didn't need to, that was crossing a line. Well I kept asking and finally he read the texts to me, but he only read a part of them. I asked him why was he lying to me and he was like "How am I lying?" And I told him I saw what was said. He flipped out. He told me it was over and that he couldn't do this anymore.
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Hi, jessicafaye, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).
It doesn't look to me like either of you are ready for a mature relationship. You can't play games with him, invading his space, looking at his phone and then make the resulting mess all his fault? If he has lied to you before, multiple times, he isn't planning on changing, there's nothing to "work out". But that you stay with such a person is your choice, playing with your own head over time.
If you have reason to be suspicious of someone and it turns out to be true,
that person is not someone you want to be in your life. If you stay, and practice being always suspicious; when it finally breaks up, you will have a heck of a time ever trusting anyone again because you are so practiced at being suspicious!
One has to "know" one's partner and one's self, one's self first. It would not occur to me to read my husband's email (I have better things to do) and it would not occur to my husband to mind if I asked to. His ex-wife and I are friends; I have her out every Mother's Day along with their sons and families! Thanksgiving we went to his younger's son's house and she and her boyfriend were there too along with the other sons and grandchildren, etc. We all work together to make the family a good one.
I would decide what goals you would like for your own life and then go wherever you could best work on those goals and do so, by yourself for awhile as you do not seem to know yourself well enough to pick partners who will be good for you?